Tara references self-harming in the author’s notes, but no content warnings apply to the chapter itself.
Recap: Ebony, Draco, and Vampire went to Dumbledore to inform him of Ebony’s vision, and he was able to coordinate a rescue effort. Both Sirius and Lucius survived being shot, and the chapter ended with them being brought into Hogwarts on stretchers.
Chapter 27. vampirz wil never hurt u
Another chapter with a title taken from a song! This one sounds like it might actually have significance given several characters in this story are vampires and one goes by Vampire, but don’t worry, it doesn’t. “Vampires Will Never Hurt You” is by My Chemical Romance and is off their first album, I Brought You My Bullets, You Brought Me Your Love. It’s an alright song, though honestly I find most of their first album pretty forgettable.
AN: u no wut!111 I dnot giv a fok wut u prepz fink abot me!1111
Great! So you’re going to start ignoring their comments, right?
so stup flaming da foking story bichez!1111
Oh, so no change. Okay.
fangz 2 raven 4 ur luv n sport n help i luv u gurl soz i kodnt update lol I wuz rly deprezzd n I silt muh rists I had 2 go 2 da hospital rraven u rok gurl!11111111111111111111
XXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
I know she’s recovering after her hospital visit, but come on, Tara! That 666 isn’t even close to being in the middle of the divider!
Every1 in the room stated to cry happly- I had saved them.
Dumbledore coordinated the rescue, and it’s Draco who told Dumbledore about the situation. Ebony learned of it in the first place through a vision, but can you take credit for visions?
Drako, Lucian, Serious bond Vampire all came to hug me. The nurse started to give them medicine.
“Cum on Enoby.” said Proffesor Sinatra.
Is that an order? I will do no such thing. This is a family blog.
She was wearing a gothic blak leader dress with a corset top and real vampir blood on it and fuking black platinum boots.
Unsure what black platinum is, but at least the boots are fucking.
“I have to tell you the fucking perdition.”
Please do, I’d love to hear it.
I locked at Lucian, Serifs, Drake and Vampire.
I assume “Serifs” is the long-lost third skeleton brother from Undertale.
They nodded.
I smelled happily and went into a dark room.
Why is she happy about this? I’d think she’d be anxious about whatever Trevolry’s going to tell her.
I had changed Profesor Sinister took out some black cards.
Oh no, was there an outfit description here that accidentally got deleted? If so, terrible. I need to know what Ebony is wearing at all times.
She started to look into a black crucible ball. She said……………………… “Tara, I see drak times are near.” She said badly.
She did say that quite badly. Also love Tara completely dropping all pretenses here about who Ebony really is.
She peered into da balls.
Not gonna touch this one.
“You see, you must go back in time.” She took out a Time-Toner like B’loody Mary had. “When Voldemint was in Hogwarts before he became powerful he gut his hearth borken.
I was going to make my usual “that must be in the deleted scenes” joke, but, let’s be real, nothing got deleted in the Harry Potter series past book three. That’s how come Rowling got away with stuff like spending 100 pages on the fucking Quidditch World Cup. No one’s been able to edit her writing since 2001 or so.
Now do you fink he would still become Volxemort if he was in love?” I shook my head. “U must go back in time and sedouce him. It is the only way. If he is still evil then you must kill him. You can come to my room tomorrow and you can do it.”
I hear this is also the plot of Harry Potter and the Cursed Child. If not, I don’t want to know what the plot actually is.
“Okay.” I said sadly. We did dethz tuch sin. I went outside again sadly.
“What fucking happened?” asked Draco and Vampire.
“Yeah what happened?” asked Darkness, Willow and Boldy Mary?
I was about to tell them butt every1 was there. They were celebrating Lucian and Sirius being fond.
I know it’s a typo but part of me is expecting Lucius/Sirius to be a thing in this story anyway. After all, why not? Tara loves her m/m ships.
Everyone was proud of me butt I jut wonted 2 talk 2 Draco. They were cheesing my name and some reporters were there, trying to interview Dumblydore.
So what is the narrative here? Everyone must know about Ebony’s vision since they’re cheering for her, but Dumbledore is the one being asked for interviews, and his part in the rescue is arguably the least interesting since he just made some calls (reluctantly, at that). Also, while Lucius is a prominent wizard from a rich pureblood family, Sirius is a fucking outlaw and everyone thinks he sold Harry’s parents out to the Death Eaters. He shouldn’t be appearing in public at all unless that’s been cleared up, which, in canon, it never is (not before his death in book 5, at least).
I know, I know, I shouldn’t bother trying to think through this story’s logic. Can’t help it, I guess.
A banner was put up. Lotz of fucking prepz were there oviously tring 2 be b goffik wering the HIM sign on their handz- depite them not having akshelly heard of him. Even Mr. Noris looked happy.
Why?
A blak and red cake had been brought out. Crabbe and Goyke set up some fireworx in the shape of skulls from Wesley’s Whizard Wises.
Ah, yeah. In the fourth or fifth book, Fred and George begin planning to start a joke shop and create a variety of magical prank items, including (in book 5) some pretty impressive fireworks. This was in the movie too, so I don’t know if Tara got it from the films or the books, but she did pay some amount of attention to canon to know that detail. Not enough to not confuse them with Crabbe and Goyle, but hey.
I put on my Invisibility coke with Vampire and Draco and we sneaked outside 2gether.
When did they get the cloak back? They abandoned it with Filch — sorry, Mr. Norris — last time it was used.