Some drug use in this chapter.
Recap: Dumbledore gave the Great Hall a goth makeover, but he did sort of a crap job and Ebony and co. are sure he’s a poser. They got extremely pissed.
im nut ok i promise
This is the title of the chapter. I don’t think I have to point out what song she’s referring to here, but just in case, it’s by My Chemical Romance.
AN: plz stup flaming da story if u do ur a foken prep n ur jelous ok!11 frum noq un im gong 2 delt ur men reviowz!111
Deleting reviews by men is probably a decent policy, so I’m not gonna argue.
BTW evonyd a poorblod so der!1
I know she meant pureblood, and it’s nice to have that detail confirmed (although I suspected it; most Slytherins are, Salazar Slytherin was a huge wizard racist and being from a strictly magical lineage is sort of an unofficial requirement for Slytherin House), but also… I’m pretty sure I’m a poorblood.
fangz 2 raven 4m da help!11
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX666XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
All day we sat angerly finking about Dumbelldore. We were so fucking pissed off.
Imagine if they devoted as much time to being angry about something that actually mattered.
Wait, what am I saying? Dumbledore being a fake goff is obviously very important in the context of this story, as whether or not you’re goffik is the main trait Tara cares about.
Well, I had one thing to look forward too- da MCR concert.
…again?
It had been postphoned, so we could all go.
Oh. I guess the actual band is gonna show up this time. That’s nice of them to reschedule after their concert was hijacked by the Dark Lord.
Anyway, I went to the common room sadly to cut classes.
Doesn’t seem like a great idea. Hogwarts is a pretty small school, and, unless you’re taking a lot of electives, students in the same year and house have more or less the same schedule. Surely a prefect would notice Ebony isn’t where she’s supposed to be if she’s just hanging out in the common room.
Not that it matters in this story. I’m not even sure Tara’s Hogwarts has any prefects.
Draco was being all secretive.
I asked what it was and he got all mad me and started crying all hot and angsty (rnt sensitve bi guyz so hot).
I… guess? Is Tara a dacryphiliac?
“No one fucking understands me!1” he shouted angrily as his black hare went in his big blue eyes like Billie Joe in Boulevard of Borken Dreamz.
Random angsting, or is this about something?
He was wearing black baggy paints, a black MCR t-shirt and a black die. (geddit insted of tie koz im goffik)
Keep serving up the puns, Tara, they’re to die for (geddit bcuz ur goffik).
I was wearing a blak leather low cut top with chains all over it all over it a blak leather mini, black high held boots and a cross belly fing. My hair was al up in a messy relly high bun like Amy Lee in Gong Under. (email me if u wana see da pik)
Unfortunately, Tara, I do not have your email address, but I trust you that this look is super excellent.
“Accuse me? What about me!” I growled.
“Buy-but-but-” he grunted.
“You fucking bastard!” I moaned.
“No! Wait! It’s not what it fucking looks like!” he shouted.
Who here reading this was told by a grade-school English teacher to avoid using “said”? It seems to be common advice, but I’m willing to bet that if English teachers spent more time reading fanfiction they’d see the error of their ways.
But it was to late. I knew what I herd. I ran to the bathroom angrily, cring. Draco banged on the door.
I know everyone’s had a tense day of sitting around being angry at Dumbledore, but this is a really dumb fight.
I whipped and whepped as my blody eyeliner streammed down my cheeks and made cool tears down my feces like Benji in the video for Girls and Bois (raven that is soo our video!).
Although I’ve never seen the video in question, I sincerely doubt that this happened in it.
I TOOOK OUT A CIGARETE END STARTED TO smoke pot.
She’s just been carrying around a spliff in her pocket or wherever and she didn’t offer to share? No wonder Draco’s pissed.
Suddenly Hargrid came. He had appearated.
…no, he hadn’t. Lemme break it down. First of all, Apparating on Hogwarts grounds isn’t possible due to the amount of enchantments on the castle (when students learn to Apparate, enchantments keeping them from doing so get temporarily lifted, and if I recall correctly it only applies to the specific classroom they’re learning in). Second, Hagrid was expelled in his third year and never learned how to Apparate.
“You gave me a fucking shock!” I shouted angrily dropping my pot. “Wtf do you fink you’re doing in da gurl’s room?”
Obviously he just wants a hit, Ebony. Don’t be stingy.
Only it wasn’t just Hargrid. Someone else was with him too! For a second I wanted it 2 b Tom Rid or maybe Draco but it was Dumblydore.
I’m just not gonna get into how she’d prefer it be a shop employee she met all of once over her boyfriend.
“Hey I need to ask you a question.” he said, pulling out his black wanabe-goffik purse. “What are u wearing to the concert?”
I’m gonna take an educated guess and say Ebony will be wearing a goffik blak leather dress wif bloddy goffik writing on it dat says MCR 666 and really low cut wif lace stuff all over it, black high heel boots, and red ripped fishnets. Also she’ll be wearing white foundation, black eyeliner, and black lipstick. Dumbledore should feel free to do the same.
“U no who MCR r!” I gasped.
“No I just saw there was a concert dat a lot of gothz and punx were going 2.” He said. “Anyway Draco has a surprise for u.”
Again, if the surprise is his dick, I for one am not surprised.