Upon reflection, this might be the worst chapter in the entire story. Related to this being the worst chapter, I feel I ought to warn you that a character is drugged and tricked into sleeping with someone in this chapter, and that the someone they’re tricked into sleeping with is a relative. Basically, rape and incest. Be warned.
Recap: Last chapter focused almost entirely on the Tallest wearing silly t-shirts, but also had a bit at the end where Zim and Dib talked about their daughter. Dib had concerns about raising a child, and when he voiced those concerns Zim started crying. Sek overheard at least part of the argument.
Disclaimers: IT’S FIXED!
No it most certainly is not.
I hope… I hope this one is easier to read and I am working on the 10th chapter as we speak.
I hope it’s easier to read, too, but I’m not counting on it.
Yup. And I know Sek is a freak of nature… but can you please not flame me for it?
I checked her reviews. No one flamed her for Sek being a “freak of nature.”
I’m in enough pain as it is.
The life of a fanfiction writer is so hard. Boo hoo.
Oh and to Aubreychu… YOU’RE A BITCH!
What a cutting insult. She may never recover from that one.
No one made you read this. So you have no write to call me a freak.
By now, you must be wondering “What did Aubreychu say?” Well, even if you’re not wondering that, I’m going to tell you. Aubreychu’s review was “You FREAK!” which I think hardly covers it, though I agree with the basic sentiment.
And “no write”?! Author, you have no righting (geddit?) skills.
Okay… enjoy!
We won’t. To put it mildly.
Sek kicked her boots up onto the desk.
In case you’ve forgotten, this chapter is set some time after the last one. Sek is presumably an adult, and we’ve also been informed that she is now aboard the Massive under a different name because she is a SNEAKY AGENT SPY MAN. Okay, so I made up that last bit.
She smiled and sighed.
It runs in the family.
Everything was going to plan.
According to plan. Author, there is this thing called “proofreading.” Please give it a try.
Except for the Tallest weren’t cooperating, and it was starting to make her angry.
I have the sense that this plan may be something of an “evil” plan. Good. We need more evil Irkens in this story. Unfortunately, I have the feeling that this is going to be incredibly poorly done.
She was angry at her parents… that’s why they’re no longer living.
Uh, okay then.
In some ways this is a relief, as reading about massively OOC!Zim and Dib having sex / babies / tea parties was one of the more horrible things this blog has ever put me through. But from a story perspective, this is a goddamn weird twist to have happen this far into the story. Zim and Dib have been our main characters throughout, and now they just got killed offscreen by their daughter? What the hell?
The more I think about this, the more I realize that this is (whether intentionally or unintentionally) a giant “screw you” to the readers, especially those reading for the ZaDR (a significant portion of her audience, no doubt). The whole plotline has centered around Zim and Dib’s relationship, and now the author has apparently decided to take the story in a completely different direction and done so by killing off the two lead characters without even having the decency to show their deaths onscreen. Again, what the hell?
She twitched slightly figuring out what she would have to do… and how long it was going to take to break them.
Not long, probably. The Tallest are spineless nitwits.
Red had already been staring at her like some mindless baboon.
What? What does that even mean?
Ah, the joys of being female. You have the power of the universe in your grasp, the gentle breaking of hears comes with your flow of tears, the click of your heels signifies your commitment to the world.
“The gentle breaking of hears”? Does she mean hearts? And what is she even talking about? This doesn’t make one iota of sense.
(A/N: I feel very feminist right now. -.-;;)
For the first time ever. Sek is the first female in this fic, with the possible exception of Kir, to be playing anything resembling a significant role. In fact, a list of female characters and their roles in this might be helpful right now:
Gaz: mentioned in chapters 1 and 2, never directly appears in the story. Mentioned as having fallen in love with a “freaky guy.” Dib doesn’t even bother to tell her she’s actually Irken.
Topaz: OC insert of one of the author’s reviewers/friends. Works on the Massive. Only appears in one chapter.
Peridot: OC service drone, wants to become Tallest. Only appears in one chapter.
Ros: OC Invader, shows up in one scene to deliver the news that Dib and Vir are both pregnant. Expresses a wish for the babies to die. Never mentioned again.
Kir: OC SIR unit, formerly belonging to one of the Tallest but was given to Dib. Supposed to be like Gir, but isn’t due to bad writing; portrayed as stupid nonetheless. Nearly kills Dib on accident.
Vir: OC SIR unit, child of Gir and Vir, described as more intelligent than either of them but has no dialogue in the story and only appears about twice thus far.
Sek: OC Irken, child of Zim and Dib, has apparently turned evil and killed her parents.
Oh, author, you so feminist.
She wasn’t going to be in a relationship shortly after this, no.
So you mean I can’t ship her with Peridot?
She would be the most feared woman in all Irken history.
Cool story. Now can something please happen before I fall asleep?
She looked over at the two separated Tallest.
Are they legally separated or just “taking a break”?
Purple hadn’t stopped staring at Red. You could see in his deep violet eyes that he was yearning for another kiss… another touch… one last touch.
I’m going to throw up.
Sek almost spat at him when he looked over at her and she felt the horrible pain that he was feeling.
You think that’s bad? It’s nothing compared to the horrible pain that reading this story has put me through.
If Sek feels Purple’s emotional pain that strongly when she looks at him, how did she manage to kill anyone?
She simply shrugged it off and continued to think about how she was going to break them when her lavender eyes wandered over to Red.
He had been curled in a small fetal position for days and hadn’t moved.
Oh, good, maybe he died.
It seemed as if his body had stopped living and he was only alive in his mind.
I’ll take what I can get. Half-dead ain’t bad for now.
His eyes were blank, his antenna were drooped. He seemed to be in the worst state of depression known to Irkens.
Splendid!
You could feel that he also yearned for a kiss or a touch from Purple. But Sek had warned them that they would be shot to bits in a matter of seconds if they touched each other.
Yes. Good. I approve of that.
Red and Purple had moved themselves as far away from Sek as they could. They could feel the waves of hate seething off of her… and they wanted nothing of it.
They can feel that? Literally? Because that’s kind of weird.
They each longed for each others touch and wished that Zim and Dib could help them with their defective daughter.
Sure sucks that they’re dead, then, don’t it?
But none of this would come true. They were going to have to give up the Irken Empire… and they wouldn’t know what would happen after that. They’d probably be killed. Thrown out the air lock like useless Invaders.
Good idea. Get on it, Sek.
The silence was eating away at Sek’s mind.
Oooh, I know! Maybe she should put on some music! Then they can have a dance party!
She knew she wouldn’t be able to last long under these conditions. Silence… emotions… the silent cries of help.
Sounds like someone isn’t too good at being evil!
She sighed and stood up with her gun in her hands.
“Alright. I want you two to give me 3,” She held up three fingers to make sure they understood. “…reasons why you won’t give me the Irken Empire.” She said holstering her gun and placing her hands on her hips in waiting. They exchanged glances, and then Purple stood up.
Oh, of course. Because Purple’s the “smart” one, right?
(I don’t recall if I’ve said as such earlier in this MST, but — while both Tallest are none too bright — Purple is notably more scatterbrained, and Red seems to have a bit more presence of mind and common sense. Weirdly enough, in Invader Zim fanfiction this is often reversed. I have no idea why.)
“Sek, we will not let you have the Empire because of 3 things.
“1) you’re a complete maniac, 2) you killed our children / your parents, and 3) you’re not really that tall.”
You have committed murder, of your own parents no less. You have placed the Tallest under house arrest, and by your native home’s code, you are denying us the freedom of choice.” Purple said.
Well, that was laughably bad. I vote she shoots them now.
(A/N: *claps for Purples speech* He spent a good deal of time on that.)
No, author, you’re clapping for your own shitty dialogue, which I hope you didn’t spend a good deal of time on because it’s terrible. Also, what, was Purple sitting there composing this speech in his head just in case?
“My parents? House arrest? Freedom of *choice*?” She screamed the last word so loud it echoed in the small room.
Look, HTML is not hard. Please use it instead of doing *this.*
“Yes, and we believe that it isn’t fair to keep us locked up in here like slaves.” Red said standing for the first time in under a week.
Uh, Red, dunno if you noticed, but you’re talking to an armed murderer. “Fair” does not come into the equation.
Sek’s eyes bulged out of her head.
“You can’t be serious!” Sek yelled in amazement as the two Tallest walked over to each other and joined hands.
You said you’d shoot them if they tried that.
“I will not allow this!” Sek shrieked.
Shoot them!
Nothing she was trying was working.
How about you try shooting them?
She sighed angrily and then regained her temper.
“Here’s what I’ll do for you. I’m going to let you stay in your room… alone. ONLY. Anywhere else is strictly prohibited. I want to do something anyway… This silence is driving me insane.” Sek said getting out of the room.
I think you need a new hobby, kiddo. You aren’t too good at this “villainess” thing.
Purple and Red still sat where they were. The pain of each other would be too great and they would break down. They knew both of them would. Purple sighed and Red broke into tears. Purple rushed over and hugged him close. They both started to cry from fear and relief at the same time.
Hey, author, no one really wants to read about the Tallest crying. No one wants to read about any of this, actually, but that’s just one thing I can think of off the top of my head that no one really wants to read about.
“Purkle… what are we going to do?” Red said snuggling up to Purple’s touch.
“I don’t know, Red. We’ll have to be strong together and we’ll have to live. Staying alive right now is the most important thing.” Purple said hugging Red close.
“How can we live when we know that she’s just going to kill us to get what she wants?” Red asked with a whining tone in his voice.
Well, she threatened to do that earlier and then she didn’t follow up, so I don’t think you need to be all that worried.
“That I don’t know. But at least we have our privacy back. That’s all we need right now, our privacy and our love for one another. Right?” Purple asked placing his chin on top of Red’s head.
“Right. Our love for one another.” Red agreed placing a simple claw over Purple’s claw.
Why didn’t Sek put these two in separate rooms or something?
WHY? Why the heck did I leave them alone! HOW COULD I HAVE BEEN SO STUPID? Sek mentally screamed and bashed herself.
Yeah, that was pretty bad. You’re almost as bad at being a villain as the author is at being an author.
She was extremely pissed off that she had left the Tallest alone… with open communication… and open minds. She would have to break them immediately. She could sense that love vows were being made and it made her sick.
Uh, how can she sense that? I mean, yes, it’s a reasonable assumption, but “sensing” and making assumptions are two different things.
She retched and stomped back to her labs to finish the hallucinogen.
Don’t waste your time with that. Just shoot them.
This was going to be a degrading victory… sweet yet degrading.
Well, maybe it wouldn’t be so degrading if you would just SHOOT THEM.
“I hope that we can just stay… Irkens. No more babies…” She growled.
What the hell is she talking about?
But deep down in her heart, she had not accepted that she was half human for being born on earth… and she didn’t know that she had some human organs.
Okay, stop. Just stop. There are all kinds of things wrong with this.
First of all, she’s not “half human” because she was born on Earth. I suppose you could say she’s an Earthling as her home planet is Earth, but she’s still full-blooded Irken. Both her parents were Irkens.
Second… human organs? Why does she have human organs? She’s fully Irken.
(A/N: If you can’t figure out what they are *ladies* then you need some serious help. .)
Your female readers need serious help? You wrote a fanfic about alien twincest, then implied that genitals are inherently human and therefore Irkens with genitals are part-human, and you can’t do HTML, and they need serious help?
Sek strode back into the Tallest’s room to see them simple snuggled up with each other… sleeping. She rolled her eyes and aimed her gun. ‘I could just kill them now and take over the Irken Empire by force…’
Please do.
Actually, how much force would really be necessary? Irkens have no great love for the Tallest; no one was too cut up when Miyuki or Spork died. If Sek killed the Tallest, she’d probably be accepted as a leader, no questions asked. Besides, who can mess with you when you’re on the Massive?
But Sek stopped herself realizing that they were needed for a while longer.
Needed for what?
She lowered her gun and sighed.
Okay, seriously now, I understand writers habitually using certain words. I do it myself. However, there’s this thing called proofreading where you read back through your work and fix errors, like using the word “sighed” in every other sentence.
‘Let them sleep, child. You can break them soon enough… you need to find their ultimate weakness.’ A small voice whispered in her ear.
Who wants to bet that this will never be explained or even mentioned again?
She nodded curtly and strode out of the room again, turning around one last time and looking at the Tallest.
“I am deeply sorry… but when one has goals and dreams… then one will do anything for one’s goals and dreams.” She said with sadness. “Dream sweetly while you can…” She said with malice and then giggled as she walked out of the room.
What the hell is up with this character?
The door swished close behind and she walked down the halls of the Massive.
“Swished” makes me picture the door sliding shut automatic-door style. This would make perfect sense except that previously characters were knocking on the doors and pushing them open.
She walked down to the kitchen area and dismissed all the cooks for large amounts of moneys in return.
Due to a) me typing this late at night and being too tired to think straight or b) the author being a talentless hack or c) both, I can’t tell if this means that Sek fired the cooks and made them give her money or that she paid the cooks to leave. The first explanation is slightly more ridiculous and somewhat amusing, but ultimately stupid. The second is incredibly stupid, as she has a gun and considerably outranks the service drones anyway. Come to think of it, given what we’ve seen of the lives of service drones, they’d probably be thrilled to get to leave.
She smiled and began to make a morning meal for the two unfortunate Tallest. She added the hallucinogen into the foods… she would get them alone when the drug hit their relatively small brains.
I’ve got a bad feeling about this. At least, I think I do. Reading this fic gives me so many bad feelings that I’m not sure if this bit is particularly suspect or if it’s just the story as a whole. Or maybe it’s both.
The Tallest awoke to see a large breakfast laid out before them.
A large breakfast, you say? Prepared by an unhinged parent-murderer trying to take over the Irken Empire? Splendid! Let’s dig in!
Red was starving so he dove right into the food and began to chow down. Purple paused to see if Red would keel over dead… but he didn’t, so Purple began to dig in as well.
What is it with RaPR fanfiction and making Purple into the smart one? Neither Tallest has much in the way of intelligence, but if anyone’s the smart one it’s Red, not Purple.
Sek noticed that Red had eaten first… ‘Good…’ She thought. This wouldn’t be so hard with the one she liked.
Oh god. I’ve got so many bad feelings right now.
Red had begun to feel a little funny after breakfast. He decided he should read it off, so he stumbled down to the library. He found his favorite book and laid down on the couch to read it.
And what is Red’s favorite book, you ask? Well…
He was absorbed in the wonderfully written novel about the fictions of the Tallest love lives, so absorbed that he didn’t notice someone sneak into the library and walk around to find the Prophesy book.
That’s right, folks: Red’s favorite book is essentially rule 34 of him and Purple, and not even historically accurate rule 34 at that.
We’re getting into a whole weird area here.
He heard nothing until a book slammed onto the ground and Red whirled around to see a shorter Purple standing there.
Totally not suspicious or anything.
He was sure that Purple hated it here… what was he doing with the Prophesy book?
And what is he doing being shorter, more importantly?
Red set down his book and stood, still feeling a bit woozy.
“Purkle? What are you doing here? I thought you hated the library.” Red said catching himself on the red velvet couch behind him.
“Red, I was just looking for you. I wanted to talk to you about Sek…” Purple said with a malicious smile on his face.
Wow, Purple isn’t behaving suspiciously at all.
Red sat back down on the couch.
“Really?” Red asked. Purple nodded. “I think her breakfast made me sick… I feel dizzy.” Red said almost passing out this time. Purple pulled a vial out of one of his belts.
“This’ll help. Promise.” Purple said with a coy smile. The liquid was a hazy red color, almost pink. But not quite.
It’s entirely possible that I’m reading into this too much, but here’s what I thought when I saw this: the liquid is some sort of love potion, as indicated by the reddish-pink color, and “hazy” because it clouds the victim’s mind. The reference to the liquid being almost pink, but not quite, is to make it seem slightly off-color and therefore a less “pure” substance.
Then again, assuming this author puts any thought into the stuff she writes might be pushing it.
Red smiled in thanks and took the vial. He drank the whole thing in one gulp and sighed happily as the dizziness and Purple came in full focus.
As the dizziness what?
Red growled, realizing how much he wanted Purple.
I’ve growled at this story too, but not because of any sort of lust. More because I want this story to end and the author to stop existing or something.
Red stood and kissed Purple deeply. Purple pulled away.
“Are you sure you want to do this? What about the whole baby thing? What if it happens again?” Purple asked with a look of concern on his face.
What, so have they just… not had sex since Dib and Zim were conceived? Do Irkens not have birth control?
Red paused, but then he felt uncomfortable. His ‘elbow*’ was bugging him.
I don’t know why the author is using “elbow” in place of a rather different body part here, but it kinda freaks me out.
“We can take care of it. Maybe it will destroy Sek.” Red said kissing Purple hungrily.
Or maybe she’d just shoot you both if she found out you had a kid. Or maybe she’s actually Purple! Sorry, I don’t know where I get all these crazy theories from.
“Purple” sighed mentally. ‘Perfect…’ He thought.
So Sek’s super ingenious evil master plan is to get pregnant? What does that accomplish? Sure, it might threaten Red and Purple’s relationship, but then again, Red could always explain that he was drugged into it. And why does Sek want a baby? If her goal is to break up Red and Purple, why couldn’t she just drug Red, seduce him, and then tape the whole thing? Why is her getting pregnant necessary? And how does any of this get her closer to her goal of being Tallest? Why doesn’t she just SHOOT THEM?
Red woke the next morning with a horrible headache, but he was laying in front the library fireplace.
Why is there a fireplace on a spacecraft? Come to think of it, why is there a library? We have never so much as seen an Irken with a book. They probably don’t have books.
He smiled through the headache as he felt an Irken arm over his chest. The thoughts of Purple came back to him… but then so did a female voice shouting his name.
GASP! I didn’t see that exciting twist coming!
“Shit…” He muttered. He shot up, forgetting about the headache, and looked behind him. Sek laid there covered in Red’s skirt.
And that’s when I realized that Red is naked at least from the waist down, which is a mental image I frankly don’t need to be having.
She snoozed silently with a smile on her face. Red wondered how this happened… he remembered kissing Purple… cuddling Purple… but hearing a female voice.
And the fact that Purple sounded like a girl wasn’t mentioned previously in the story at all. Great writing, author!
He grabbed his skirt away and pulled it over his waist. It hung low over his hips.
STOP TALKING ABOUT HIS SKIRT, THANKS
But then it suddenly hit him.
“Well, I thought I had sex with Purple but Purple was shorter and sounded like a girl, and then I woke up and my evil grandchild is sleeping next to me and I’m naked! And this happened after I ate a breakfast my evil grandchild made me and then felt weird and ill. Hey, d’ya think this means that maybe I actually had sex with her, not Purple?”
Red may be just a hair slower than average.
(It is a sign of what this fanfic has done to me that I haven’t even complained about the grandfather/granddaughter nonconsensual incest yet. Well, I’m going to do that now: first of all, that’s fucked up, and second of all, I’m beginning to think that the author has a serious incest fetish. The “Red and Purple are brothers” thing is some people’s fanon because they look so similar, and I’m sure that this author is not the first to involve them in twincest. Likewise, ZaDR incest is something I’ve unfortunately seen before. Combining them in one story is pushing it a little, but in a fic where the author is clearly pulling things out of her ass it comes off like a bad plot device rather than author appeal. Now, though, there’s absolutely no reason for the incest to happen; it doesn’t really advance the plot and it isn’t a twist that makes any sort of sense. There are much easier ways for Sek to break the Tallest and become Tallest herself, and more effective ways, too. Either the author is trying for cheap shock value — hard to accomplish when incest is treated as totally normal in your fic — or this is author appeal. As much as I hope it’s not the latter, I’m getting plenty suspicious.)
Flashback of the night before…
Awesome! I sure didn’t get enough of that scene the last time! Let’s play it again!
“Are you sure you want to do this? What about the whole baby thing? What if it happens again?” Purple asked him almost crying.
Hey now, the first time you ran this scene it just said that Purple looked “concerned.” That’s not the same as being on the verge of tears. And, seeing as Purple = Sek and Sek actually wants a kid, either she was really hamming it up or the author forgot that she’s supposed to be writing Sek pretending to be Purple, not Purple himself.
“We can take care of it. Maybe it will destroy Sek.” Red said capturing Purple’s lip.
“I want a baby…” Purple sighed.
“Me too… I’ll give you one. And we can raise it together behind Sek’s back.” Red replied.
I didn’t like the bonus material in this flashback scene, ma’am. I want my money back.
END
Of the fic?
“Mother of Irk… I’m going to have another kid…” Red whispered to himself.
Okay, I guess it’s not the end of the fic. Shame.
How can he be certain that Sek is pregnant?
“Purple will never find out. We’ll birth the baby… and give it up for adoption.” Red assured himself.
“Yeah, Purple will never notice Sek is pregnant, and my evil granddaughter who hates me will be totally willing to go along with this plan. After all, she didn’t rape me to further her own agenda or anything of the sort. Nope. Definitely not.”
He nodded and Sek woke and sat next to him.
This sentence reads like Red’s nodding woke up Sek, which as far as I know is the first time anything like that has happened ever.
“I can see why Purple loves you so much.” She said with a malicious smile. “That was amazing.”
Gross gross gross no we’re not doing this we’re not going there
She said getting up and putting on all her clothes. She clipped up her boots and began to walk out. She turned around and placed a hand over her stomach.
“I hope you love our child with that same kind of passion.” She smiled and walked out the door.
Did she just tell Red that she hopes he has sex with their baby?!
I… I can’t… I can’t even riff on that.
Red moaned.
“What am I going to tell Purple?”
How about “I was drugged and raped by my granddaughter”?
*- In “Bio-Engineered Bundles of Joy” the Tallest commented that Zim had an elbow that didn’t quit. Irkens mate by elbows… Yeah…
I don’t know if “Bio-Engineered Bundles of Joy” (which I assume is a fanfic) was actually implying that Irkens mate using their elbows (which is just weird, for the record) or if the author is just making odd references to a fanfic she liked, or what. But, then again, I don’t actually care.
You can flame me… I know I deserve it.
You deserve worse.
But… I might be able to fix this… just might. SORRY! .;;;
There is absolutely no way you can fix this. There is no way this story can be redeemed. No way. After reading that, I feel like I need my memory modified to take away the pain of ever having to read this.