Once again, I feel inclined to open by warning you that this chapter is absolute shitty garbage, and not just because it’s sloppily written Twilight AU fanfiction that got a hasty rebrand so the author could make bank off of it. In this chapter we have a scenario that looks like sexual assault, followed by an actual sexual assault (not intended as such, but it reads as such anyhow), and a whole lot of dubious content in between. Things are getting borderline NSFW in this story, by the way.
Recap: Oh lord. Okay. Last time around, Christian sent Ana an expensive gift as a “warning” and then proceeded to stalk her to a bar she was partying at, which turned out to be good timing since Ana was being sexually assaulted by a very drunk José. The chapter ended with Ana blacking out.
Fifty Shades of Grey: Chapter Five
Ana wakes up feeling better than one would expect considering all the drinking she did the night before. She doesn’t seem to have a hangover at all. Go figure. She doesn’t know where she is. Her surroundings look vaguely familiar, and she struggles to remember where she remembers them from. Then she realizes she’s in Christian Grey’s suite at the Heathman, and—
—okay, hold it right the fuck there. She passed out in a public area and nobody, not even Grey, thought to call 911? Even disregarding the medical attention Ana should have received, she should not have been taken to Christian Grey’s apartment. Christian sent her a gift, so he knows her address; he doesn’t even have the excuse of “I didn’t know where she lived,” which still wouldn’t be an excuse in any case as he could have asked Kate (or done some more privacy-invading — hey, he tracked her cell phone, how hard would it be for him to find her address?). Why didn’t he take her home?
I doubt Grey did anything out of line beyond the obvious, but waking up in a near-stranger’s bed after losing consciousness should be, at the very least, alarming.
…oh, hell, it gets worse. Ana’s socks and pants have been removed. She is in bed wearing her t-shirt and underwear. This isn’t sexy! This looks really fucking bad! Why isn’t Ana freaking out?
There’s a glass of orange juice and two Advils on the nightstand. Ana thinks that Grey is a control freak for thinking to put those there. It’s the only nice thing he’s done so far in this chapter and has nothing to do with being a control freak, so this comes off pretty judgmental on Ana’s part.
Christian knocks on the door, then enters anyway when she doesn’t respond. Okay, he might have figured she was asleep still, I’ll let this slide. Ana gets turned on because… he’s sweaty and is wearing pants “that hang, in that way, off his hips.” I don’t know where else he’d be hanging his pants from, Ana. Anyway, dude has clearly just been working out. He asks her how she’s feeling; she says she’s feeling better that she deserves, then asks him how she got there. Christian tells her:
“After you passed out, I didn’t want to risk the leather upholstery in my car taking you all the way to your apartment. So I brought you here,” he says phlegmatically.
Uh, first of all, what? Second of all, you’re rich enough that having to potentially get your car cleaned is nothing more than a mild inconvenience, and you probably should have prioritized the wellbeing of an actual person over your upholstery. But okay.
Ana asks if he took her pants off. He did. This scares her, finally, but he assures her he didn’t do anything while she was unconscious and she apologizes for freaking out. No, bad Ana. You don’t have to apologize for getting rightfully disturbed by this situation. You’ve got a right to ask questions. Grow a fucking backbone.
Ana gets annoyed at Christian (thank you, Ana!) for treating the whole thing like it’s funny:
“You didn’t have to track me down with whatever James Bond stuff you’re developing for the highest bidder,” I snap at him. He stares at me, surprised, and if I’m not mistaken, a little wounded.
“Firstly, the technology to track cell phones is available over the Internet. Secondly, my company does not invest or manufacture any kind of surveillance devices, and thirdly, if I hadn’t come to get you, you’d probably be waking up in the photographer’s bed, and from what I can remember, you weren’t overly enthused about him pressing his suit,” he says acidly.
Firstly, I don’t care if it’s not hard to do, it’s still illegal and invasive. Second of all, what the hell does your company do? I’m on book 2 and still have no idea. Third of all, implying that José would have raped Ana if Christian hadn’t intervened is in extremely poor taste. Yikes. (I also don’t know if this is true, or a reasonable assumption. If there’s one thing I can say in José’s defense, it’s that he was very drunk, so it seems a bit doubtful to me that it would have gone much further than it did.) Also, you had no clue what was going down with José until after you arrived, so not an excuse.
Ana starts laughing over Grey’s use of the term “pressing his suit” and tells him he sounds like a courtly knight. He shakes his head and says he’s more of a dark knight. He’s Batman?
Christian starts scolding Ana over all the things she did wrong last night — like not eating before going to the bar, and then drinking too much. It’s frankly insulting, because even though he has a point and Ana didn’t make the smartest choices, she’s a grown woman, not a naughty child. If he was her parent, or if they were close friends or partners, he’d at least have the excuse of caring about her deeply, but he barely knows her, so it just comes off as controlling and condescending. He also says that if she were his (author’s phrase, not mine), she wouldn’t be able to sit down for a week. We get it, he’s kinky. Ana defends herself to some extent, which is good, I guess, even though he still wins the argument and her points are pretty weak.
They flirt a bit (not worth relating), then Christian leaves the room. Ana finally acknowledges to herself that what she’s feeling is sexual attraction/desire; congrats, honey, you’re like ten years late to this one. She entertains some slightly-naughty thoughts about Christian for a little while. The comparison to a knight is brought up again. Also, the comparison to a literary hero. Author, stop.
Christian reenters the room as Ana is searching for her jeans. He tells her they’re in the laundry — he took them off because she threw up on them — and that he sent Taylor (remember him?) out to buy Ana a new pair of jeans and some shoes. Ana takes the bag with the shoes and jeans and heads off to take a shower.
While in the shower, Ana does some thinking:
He said he likes his women sentient. He’s probably not celibate then. But he’s not made a pass at me, unlike Paul or José. I don’t understand. Does he want me? He wouldn’t kiss me last week. Am I repellent to him? And yet, I’m here and he brought me here. I just don’t know what his game is? What he’s thinking? You’ve slept in his bed all night, and he’s not touched you Ana. You do the math. My subconscious has reared her ugly, snide head. I ignore her.
Saying he likes his women sentient doesn’t imply he isn’t celibate. I mean, what? (For context, he said that to assure Ana he didn’t do anything while she was out cold.) José made a highly inappropriate pass while drunk (I’m not convinced he would have done that sober) and Paul is just too thickheaded to get a clue. Most bothersome by far here, though, is the opinion that Ana’s “subconscious” is expressing: if Christian were into Ana, he’d have made a move on her unconscious body. Again: yikes!
And then Ana starts washing herself with Christian’s body wash and imagines it’s him doing it. So I guess she’s just discovered masturbation? Sorta? The weird / sad / slightly alarming part is that she appears to have no idea what she is doing. It’s not really a surprise at this point that she doesn’t masturbate, seeing as she’s apparently never had any sort of sexual feelings, but does she not even know what masturbation is?
In all seriousness, Ana’s innocence freaks me out a bit, because it’s not just that she’s a sheltered virgin at 22 and not just that she’s probably on the asexual spectrum or something, it’s that her sexual cluelessness would be way more appropriate coming from a character ten years younger. This also sets her up to be completely sexually dependent on Christian, since her sexuality only exists in relation to him. At this point, though, that’s just the cherry on top of an already unhealthy dynamic.
Christian knocks on the door and tells Ana that breakfast has arrived. Ana quickly gets out of the shower and dresses. Taylor has, for some reason, not only bought her a new pair of pants and some sneakers (the only thing he was asked to do), but a new shirt and new underwear. Uh… okay, that’s a little creepy. Ana rhapsodizes about the underwear for a little while because it’s some kind of fancy lingerie. I fully expect this underwear to figure into the first sex scene because otherwise what is the point? (Also, how did Taylor know her size? He could probably just make an educated guess on the panties, but bra sizes aren’t nearly that easy to figure out.)
After dressing, Ana finds Christian in the living area of the suite. She suddenly realizes she’s forgotten to contact Kate and let her know she’s okay. Christian tells her not to worry, he texted Elliot (Christian’s brother, remember, the one Kate was dancing with).
Ana realizes Kate must have had a one-night stand with Elliot and gets kind of upset. Because… well, I’ll just let you read what she says:
Oh no. I remember her fervent dancing of the night before. All her patented moves used with maximum effect to seduce Christian’s brother no less! What’s she going to think about me being here? I’ve never stayed out before. She’s still with Elliot. She’s only done this twice before, and both times I’ve had to endure the hideous pink PJs for a week from the fallout. She’s going to think I’ve had a one-night stand too.
So… slut-shaming, and also a total lack of concern for Kate’s feelings/safety. Nice!
They eat breakfast. Christian scolds Ana about her hair being damp. Um… she just took a shower. This wouldn’t bother me except that he seems genuinely upset over Ana’s damp hair. Ana thanks Christian for the clothes. He says it’s a pleasure and that the color suits her. She’s embarrassed by this, so he scolds her again on how to take a compliment. Good lord.
Ana offers to pay Christian back for the clothes, and he glares at her as though offended. She presses on regardless, pointing out that he’s already spent a lot of money on her by sending her those books (which she plans to send back anyway). He tells her he can afford it. She says that’s not the issue and asks why he would buy her clothes and refuse to be paid back for it. He tells her “Because I can.” Christ, what an asshole.
Ana then asks about the books again. Christian tells her that:
“Well, when you were nearly run over by the cyclist – and I was holding you and you were looking up at me – all kiss me, kiss me, Christian,” he pauses and shrugs slightly, “I felt I owed you an apology and a warning.” He runs his hand through his hair. “Anastasia, I’m not a hearts and flowers kind of man, I don’t do romance. My tastes are very singular. You should steer clear from me.” He closes his eyes as if in defeat. “There’s something about you, though, and I’m finding it impossible to stay away. But I think you’ve figured that out already.”
You do not warn someone away with a gift that expensive, apology or not. A guy with as much money as Christian should realize the effect that his wealth has on people. Having that much cash grants him a pretty enormous amount of power, and for this to be a healthy relationship Ana has to be able to trust him to not abuse his power. And yes, I know, power’s hot and all — but Ana doesn’t think it’s sexy that Christian would spend that much on her, she feels indebted to him. And if she doesn’t think it’s sexy, how are we expected to? Ana’s the character the reader is supposed to identify with.
As for the “I don’t do romance” bit, this isn’t surprising given that it’s a variant on the Edward/Bella dynamic. Edward was afraid to get involved with Bella because he’s a vampire, and Christian is afraid to get involved with Ana because he doesn’t think she’d be into the kind of stuff he’s into (and the reverse). Sure, okay, that’s valid, but he is doing a terrible job of staying away from her. I don’t even think he’s trying.
If she were actively pursuing him, it would be one thing. But there are inanimate objects less passive than Ana. She doesn’t drive the plot, the plot drives her. Christian should have no trouble avoiding her, except that she has inexplicable Sue magnetism.
Anyway. Ana tells Christian that if he doesn’t want to stay away, then he shouldn’t. (She says it a lot more timidly than I just made it sound.) Christian literally gasps at this and tells Ana that she doesn’t know what she’s saying. She asks him to enlighten her. I think this scene is supposed to be hot, but it’s really just silly.
When Christian doesn’t respond, Ana asks him if he’s celibate. What the hell, Ana? Where did you get that from? Just because he says he doesn’t do romance doesn’t mean he doesn’t have sex. Christian is rightly amused by the question and tells her he’s not celibate, then asks her about her plans for the next few days. Ana tells him she’s going to pack for her move to Seattle with Kate. He asks her what she’ll do for work there. She tells him she applied for some internships and is waiting to hear back. Christian asks if she applied to his company. She says no. He asks why not, and she makes what I’m pretty sure she thinks is a clever comment about working for his company vs. being in his company. Actually, I know for a fact that she thinks it’s clever, because she smirks when she says it. Christian asks Ana if she’s smirking at him, and she looks down and bites her lip because he is so hawt omg. He then tells her, and I quote:
“I’d like to bite that lip,” he whispers darkly.
Ana thinks that this is the sexiest thing she has ever heard in her life, but it’s also important to remember that she didn’t know what sexy was until like last week.
She asks him, “Why don’t you?” He tells her that he’s not going to touch her until he has her written consent. She’s puzzled, understandably, and asks him what he means. He says he needs to show her. They arrange to meet after Ana finishes work.
Then… oh, god, I need to quote this part:
“Why can’t you tell me now?” I sound petulant.
“Because I’m enjoying my breakfast and your company. Once you’re enlightened, you probably won’t want to see me again.”
What the fuck. No. This is not how you go about discussing your kinks with a potential sexual partner. He’s basically luring her in, inviting her to stay a little longer and get more attached to him, even though he believes that she would never be into the same things as him and that their relationship could never work.
Christian calls Taylor and says he’s going to need “Charlie Tango.” Ana wonders who that is because she is stupid enough to think that Charlie Tango is someone’s actual name. As is revealed shortly, Charlie Tango is Christian’s helicopter. He plans to take her to Seattle by helicopter that night for their date.
Christian makes a big fuss about Ana finishing her meal. The book has all the subtlety of an axe to the head, so I know this is going to be a plot point later. Probably Christian was poor and hungry as a kid or something like that.
Ana asks Christian where he slept last night. He tells her he slept in bed with her. She’s surprised, and he says it was a novelty for him too. She’s not sure what he means, so he clarifies that “sleeping with someone” was a first for him. Ana takes this to mean he’s a virgin. For christ’s sake.
Ana decides she’d like to brush her teeth:
I eye Christian’s toothbrush. It would be like having him in my mouth.
No, it wouldn’t.
Ana brushes her teeth with Christian’s toothbrush and describes the experience as “naughty” and “a thrill.” Well, whatever gets you off, I guess, but…? What a weird scene.
They leave the hotel room together and get in the elevator. As it’s heading down, Christian suddenly turns to Ana and… this happens:
“Oh, fuck the paperwork,” he growls. He lunges at me, pushing me against the wall of the elevator. Before I know it, he’s got both of my hands in one of his in a vice-like grip above my head, and he’s pinning me to the wall using his hips. Holy shit. His other hand grabs my ponytail and yanks down, bringing my face up, and his lips are on mine. It’s only just not painful.
…I really don’t like this.
The paperwork Christian is referring to is almost certainly some sort of BDSM contract that he and Ana would use to define their limits, etc. Of course, it’s not necessary to have a written contract to negotiate consent, most people do that verbally… but Christian just didn’t do it at all. You could argue that Ana’s indirectly indicated that she wants Christian to kiss her and that she doesn’t mind if he’s a little rough, since earlier she asked “Why don’t you?” when he mentioned wanting to bite her lip, but I just don’t think that justifies him thinking it’s okay to abruptly pin her against the wall and pull her hair. They’re not in an established relationship, they’ve never talked about this stuff, he has no idea if she’s okay with any part of this besides maybe the kiss itself.
And look, I get it, this is a fantasy. This is just supposed to be kinky. Ana has no problem with Christian’s behavior here, she thinks this is sexy, and since the story is from her perspective it’s clear we as the readers are also just supposed to think that is sexy. In the author’s mind this truly isn’t that deep. But this is a recurring pattern in the story, where nearly every instance of Christian getting “kinky” with Ana is just him being sexually aggressive towards her without prior discussion about it. It reads as though he doesn’t give a fuck about her consent at all, and the only way I buy Ana always being fine with it is if her sexual cluelessness makes her think this behavior is normal. Well, it’s not fucking normal. This doesn’t read as kinky, it reads as assault.
Christian lets go of Ana as soon as it stops for more people to get on. When the others exit and they’re alone again, Christian asks about Ana brushing her teeth and she tells him she used his toothbrush. What the fuck am I reading?
They leave the Heathman. End chapter.
Holy Cow! Alert: None this chapter, but we’ve got two “Holy crap!”s, three “Holy shit!”s, and one “Holy hell!”
And Now, A Word From Ana’s Subconscious Alert:
[After Christian uses the phrase “If you were mine” when talking to Ana] I flush at the waywardness of my subconscious – she’s doing her happy dance in a bright red hula skirt at the thought of being his.
[As previously quoted, Ana wonders if Christian is attracted to her] You’ve slept in his bed all night, and he’s not touched you Ana. You do the math. My subconscious has reared her ugly, snide head. I ignore her.
[Ana wonders what Christian means by her not wanting to see him again once he “enlightens” her about himself] Don’t lie to yourself – my subconscious yells at me– it’ll have to be pretty bloody bad to have you running for the hills. [Yes, in the original this was entirely italicized, even the part not spoken by Ana’s “subconscious.” Did anyone proofread this garbage?]
[Christian tells Ana that she needs to finish her meal] I’m too excited to eat, Christian. Don’t you understand? My subconscious explains.
Does “Inner Goddess” Mean What I Think It Means? Alert: In addition to Ana’s non-subconscious subconscious, she also begins talking about her “inner goddess” in this chapter, during the scene in the elevator:
Oh, he’s affected all right – and my very small inner goddess sways in a gentle victorious samba.
The reference to “very small” in particular makes me feel as if we’re dealing with something other than a purely mental entity here.
Great Prose Alert:
Oh my… sweat and body wash and Christian, it’s a heady cocktail – so much better than a margarita, and now I can speak from experience.
My heartbeat has picked up, and my medulla oblongata has neglected to fire any synapses to make me breathe. [This is the second time in the book her medulla oblongata has been referred to. Odd.]
Oh my – what would I do to be his? He’s the only man who has ever set my blood racing around my body.
Wow. I am in awe and slightly daunted by this underwear.
“You. Are. So. Sweet,” he murmurs, each word a staccato.
I struggle to keep pace with him because my wits have been thoroughly, royally, scattered all over the floor and walls of elevator three in the Heathman Hotel.
Oh My! Alert: Six times in this chapter alone is the phrase used. Generally in italics.
Thoughts So Far:
At the risk of repeating myself, yikes!
I already went over most of my problems with this chapter in the summary, so I’m going to talk a little more broadly about Ana and Christian as characters so far.
Remember the part where Ana thinks about Kate and how Kate always gets upset after one-night stands, but somehow manages to make the whole thing about herself? I’ll tell you why that is: it’s because she’s the protagonist, which in this story means she’s the only character whose perspective matters. The side characters don’t get to have their own motivations (outside of motivations that directly relate to Ana in some way, like every guy she knows having a crush on her), because James was never interested in fleshing out the side characters. She only cares about writing Ana and Christian, and she’s only interested in portraying Christian from an outside perspective, framing him as the “object of desire” for Ana. This is why Ana doesn’t bother considering the perspectives of the other characters — because, effectively, the other characters don’t have perspectives to be considered. This is also why we’re not supposed to find it troubling when Christian starts roughly putting the moves on Ana with no prior discussion about it; she thinks it’s sexy, so we’re also supposed to think it’s sexy, even though from Christian’s perspective (if he had one that mattered to the story) he has no way of knowing if Ana’s okay with this because he never asks and isn’t a mind reader.
On the one hand, this does just boil down to bad writing, and I’ll be fair and say this would be less egregious in a fanfic. Not only are the quality standards virtually nonexistent (which isn’t to say that good fanfiction doesn’t exist, just means it’s easy to get away with writing a bad one), but if this was still a Twilight fanfic I wouldn’t consider it all that important to focus on or flesh out the side characters. We already know who they are in canon and it doesn’t really matter, we’re just here to read about Bella and Edward. It’s lazy writing, sure, but James just wanted to mash her action figures together. I get that.
On the other hand, when I’m reading a published novel — which is what this now is — I feel it’s impossible not to consider the motivations of the main characters, in this case Ana and Christian. And this is where the story falls apart. Despite the story revolving completely around what Ana wants, she almost never takes the initiative herself, which makes her come across as a complete doormat. Christian is very sexually forward, which we’re meant to think is fine because Ana doesn’t mind / likes it, but since she doesn’t clearly communicate this to him (only to the readers) it seems like Christian is aggressively pursuing Ana with no regard to whether or not she wants him to. The worst part (to me) is that this does make sense; Ana’s several years younger than Christian, he has vastly more power/influence/money than her, and she’s completely inexperienced sexually, so it unfortunately tracks that she’d let him call all the shots and that she’d assume this is fine because she just doesn’t know better. On Christian’s end, he’s talked quite a bit about how he’s a man accustomed to getting what he wants, he’s acted angry/frustrated when Ana doesn’t 100% comply with what he wants from her, and Ana’s narration has repeatedly described him as a control freak. I don’t have a problem with this if it’s D/s play, but this is all happening before Ana even knows what D/s play is, much less consented to this dynamic. This isn’t Christian’s Dom persona, he’s just genuinely like this all the time, so it sure doesn’t read as kinky to me. I just think he’s a sexually predatory slimeball.
There’s also another thing I want to say about the elevator kiss scene. Last chapter, José drunkenly attempted to kiss Ana, and the story (correctly, of course) framed this as a bad thing. This chapter, Christian grabbed Ana pretty forcefully and kissed her, and the story framed this as sexy. Neither of these guys had Ana’s consent beforehand, and I’d consider Christian’s behavior worse because he physically restrained her (he’s bigger and stronger, they were in a small enclosed space; she couldn’t have easily gotten away, had she wanted to) and he was completely sober, but because Christian is the romantic lead and José is just the friend, the story only portrays Jose’s behavior as wrong. This feels especially icky given José is the only non-white character in this story; like, when the white guy acts like this we’re supposed to think it’s sexy, but when the Latino guy does it he’s a creep.
Anyway, I’m actively dreading the sex scenes now! So that’s great!